The Lesser of Two Evils
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: What happened in Romania is like a scar on Charlie's mind- a constant reminder of the damage he'd caused. Will he manage to hold himself together with his guilty conscience, or will he crack under the pressure? And if so, who will be there to help him through this ever-so-testing time?


**Hi! Just a little idea I got after last night's episode and the trailer for next week! I love Charlie and Connie's friendship at the moment- it's reminiscent of hers and Elliot Hope's friendship from her Holby days!**

 **Anyway I hope you enjoy this- of course reviews would be lovely and I'd love to hear your views on their friendship too! And/or Charlie's and Tess' friendship which I also love :D -Sophie x**

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It still haunted him.

Even weeks on, Charlie Fairhead was haunted by his own actions, scared by the evil that lurked deep within him. His conscience was tainted with fear, with grief and with guilt that seemed to creep around his mind, infecting every last remaining thought with visions of that one car crash; the screech of the tyres, the almighty crash of the vehicles, and the overwhelming sense of relief when he saw the car on its back.

But that relief soon turned to regret. He could have just killed someone. He could have just taken someone else's life and ran away with it, like some kind of sadistic devil. The man couldn't live with himself, not like that.

He hadn't told anyone about that incident other than Connie, and even then he didn't go into detail. Not even Tess whom he considered a close friend. She remained oblivious, for both selfless and selfish reasons. He didn't want her worrying about him- no, he could stand on his own two feet and battle on, he'd had years of training for something like this. And on the other hand, he didn't want her to think of him as a murderer. He didn't want her to look at him and see a criminal instead of who he really was; a loving father trying to make up for all his many mistakes.

"Charlie."

It was Tess, trying to jolt him from his thoughts. Her face was worried, stern, urgent, and he knew immediately why; Louis.

"Ethan's just wrestled a needle off of him. Cocaine." Her words were simple as to deter any anger from the nurse, but there was no use.

Without saying a word, he pushed past her and straight into resus. Louis was sat panting on the bed, two security guards handcuffing his arms to the metal bars. Cal was dabbing at Ethan's face; a long scratch down his left cheek left tiny droplets of blood to trickle down his face. Charlie's heart dropped but his temper rose as he made his way to the side of the bed.

"What the hell have you got to say for yourself?" He glared at his son who avoided eye contact, internally shocked by the tone of his father's voice. He'd never heard him that angry before.

"Answer me." The nurse spoke with gritted teeth, his fists slowly clenching either side of his scrubs. Louis looked up to see his face bright red and closed his eyes briefly. Cal guided Ethan swiftly out of the room, sensing the tension rising. The security guards followed until they hovered outside the swinging doors, leaving Tess stood slightly shaken by the medicine trolley. She had never seen her friend this angry before in her life.

"I'm sorry." Louis said quietly.

Charlie couldn't believe it. Sorry?!

"Sorry isn't good enough!" He roared, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all I ever get from you! When are you going to learn that it's not all about you? When are you going to realise that you're hurting not only yourself but others around you too! Look at Sofia for god's sakes- she could have been killed if it wasn't for Connie that day!" The man was now out of breath, and Louis' anger was also beginning to rise.

"You think you can come waltzing into my life and try make everything better with the click of your fingers? Act like you love me and care about me more than anything else? Spare me the crap dad, it's always been about the job with you. I always came second to this bloody job of yours! I'm an addict and you're doing nothing to help me, because you're more concerned about whether you killed Christian or not and your precious _job_!"

On his last word, Louis picked up the small empty vase on his bedside cabinet and hurled it across the room. There was an ear-piercing shriek before the startling sound of shattered glass. Tess stood with her hands over her face, shaking from head to toe as blood seeped through her fingers and onto the floor.

Connie, who had been stood just outside the door and listening to every word, called Ethan and Robyn over, then came in and went straight to Tess who was holding back the tears.

"Ethan and Robyn will take you to resus and check for any deep damage ok? You're going to be fine, I promise." Her voice was clear yet calming and Tess nodded, taking the small nurse's arm and collapsing into a wheelchair before being briskly whisked away by Ethan. Connie watched them go then looked to Charlie who was in sheer shock.

"Come on, with me. The guards will keep an eye on him." She said softly, holding out her arm. The two burly guards made their way to either side of Louis' bed, and only then did Charlie move. He nodded, and Connie put her arm on his as they left the room and went to her office.

"Sit down." She motioned to the sofa as she locked her door, and went to lean against the edge of her desk. The nurse sat and put his head in his hands, taking some deep breaths.

"What happened in Romania was a freak accident. You were doing all you could to protect your son, and that's something to be admired not frowned upon." Connie managed a small smile. "I'd do it to save Grace any day. You're a brave man Charlie, you know that."

"I'm a foolish man, I don't know about anything else. What was I thinking? My job is a nurse, I should have stopped and made sure he was alive, even called the ambulance service."

"Your job is also being a protective father and sometimes the two do clash. It's hard, I know but you need to realise that what you did was for Louis' and yours own goods."

"Connie I might have killed the man!" He exclaimed, looking up at her. "I had no right to do that, to-to play god, I shouldn't have done it!"

"It was either his death or both of yours." She said simply, coming to sit beside him. "You chose the lesser of two evils, a tough decision to make. Listen, this isn't going to go away. Both you and I know that this will take time, but there will be a day when you wake up and that isn't the first thing on your mind. You have to give it a chance to sink in, and give yourself the time you need to grieve for your innocence. It sounds silly but we've both been through it; you with Megan and I with Alfred. If he did die then there's nothing we can do but wait."

Connie finished speaking and looked to the man beside her. He ran his hands through his hair before closing his eyes. After a few moments he nodded and opened them again, turning to face her.

"Fine. Fine, I'll wait- I'll wait. Thank you, Connie. Really."

She just nodded, a tight lipped smile making an appearance as she rubbed his arm before standing and clearing her throat.

"Listen, you should go see how Tess is- let her know you'll be ok. I've seen the way she looks at you- she's worried about you Charlie. And I'm betting you didn't tell her either, about what happened?"

"No. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want her to worry."

"She cares about you- she won't worry, she'll help you through it. Now go on- let me know how she is."

The nurse nodded and stood, taking a few deep breaths.

"I'll page you. And again, Connie- thanks."

The woman just smiled.

"You're going soft Fairhead, but anytime you want to talk then I'm here okay?" She commented, raising her eyebrows. "Now get out of my office, I'm busy."

"Insufferable woman." He grumbled, though grinning as he unlocked her door and opened it.

"I heard that." She called with a smile as the door fell shut, and the sound of his footsteps faded away.


End file.
